dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
