we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
