it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
