I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
