i permit you to call me
Where is the hickey?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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