I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
