i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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