Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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