she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
