i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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