You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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