I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
