Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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