remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My penis needs a shock collar
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
