I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
