***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Couch. On fire.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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