clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
