Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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