He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
