he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
