Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
