you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
