I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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