people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
