It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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