In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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