So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
