Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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