Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
