allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize