Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
