I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
