think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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