Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
