I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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