We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
