and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
