oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
