Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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