i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize