I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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