I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
