You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Randomize
