i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
