thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
