Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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