i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
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I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
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I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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