My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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