I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize