i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
