Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
