Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
