North Korea, Best Korea!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
