Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
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I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
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As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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