are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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