very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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