pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i think i just lost a toe
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
