He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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