Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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