my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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