don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
did i just pee glitter
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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