she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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