dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
