Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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