She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
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Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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