You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
