He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
