I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We are two peas in an std pod
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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